Optimism…

Believe in yourself

My sister always tells me that I am a big pessimist…I keep cribbing all the time about everything good or bad in life…I don’t really know how true(or not) she is…but one thing i have realized over the time is that optimism really does change things around you….

I have sensed a change in me…i try to keep away from fights…distance myself from the person involved and get busy in something else…it really helps….trying to see good in others is the best way to prevent a tiff with anyone..as soon as I start getting irritated with anyone, I distance myself from him or her n try to recall all the good things he/she has done for me in past..I know sounds really preachy but actually works…

I think life has different phases…you are happy n sad depending on your own psychology at that time….whatever phase of life u are in, all that matters is how true u r to yourself…how much belief u have in you…n how positive u r to pass through it…

“Hope is definitely not the same thing as optimism. It is not the conviction that something will turn out well, but the certainty that something makes sense, regardless of how it turns out.”

I associate positiveness with people…there are some people who give you positive vibes…u just feel good about yourself after talking to them…they have just the right things to tell u…things u want to hear at that particular time…i simply call them gifted…it is actually a gift to be able to make someone happy..:)

and the much needed break..

since the time I have come back…I am:

• sad(my sister has gone….Bangalore is pretty far)
• drinking almost every day(God knows why)
• clubbing(I believe in having fun after getting drunk)
• not studying(don’t feel like)
• doing stuff I generally don’t do

So yeah…my life is pretty fucked up…I have been doing totally crazy stuff….and this time I am not happy with all this…m disgusted that I have changed so much…my friends are concerned for me….I am disappointed with myself….n I have no clue what to do next…I have a bad reputation in college….I hardly talk to anyone….I have no aim as of now…n I am sick of parties….

I knew I was changing..or rather had changed…but I never thought I could become this….I have never been this angry with myself…I want to change back…I have decided not to touch alcohol now..hope that solves things….I just want to change back….some how….will I..??

coz karma is a bitch..!!!

I was talking to my grand mom yesterday…she was narrating all the mythological stories to me… Almost every story had the same moral…”do good to people” or “as you sow, so shall you reap”… It got me into thinking how ‘karma’ theory actually holds true….

We have always heard ‘life is short’…do what you want to…laugh, dance, speak out yourself, have no inhibitions etc…but then life is not so short…we should realize how our actions affect others…we should respect them…I know we have to act selfish in this world n only the best survives…but you can excel in your own thing and be sweet at the same time too… n not a fake..a genuine sweet person….

Today a guy (who thinks very highly of himself) was teasing one of my friends who had a crush on one of his friends….it’s generally a regular thing but today the teasing actually progressed to humiliation n I thought how in a second humor became insult n the joke turned into a serious conversation so much so that my friend actually started crying after the incidence….I have no clue if it was deliberate from his side but…all I could think was how we have no control when we are the one deriving pleasure…we don’t even think how the person at receiving end might feel about it…

And then I started analyzing how people who have done bad to others(intentionally or not) have suffered…the time period varies..but then eventually it all comes back to you in one form or the other….the stories told by my grand mom said a person lives his life as per his deeds from his earlier life…I don’t know if that’s true…but I do believe your deeds come back to you(bad or good)…..

Vampires…now the hero!!

The Vampire Diaries

Watching Vampire Diaries is like a different experience altogether… apart from the “crushing on Damon”, it has many other aspects too…I even dreamt how everyone around me is a vampire n I am begging them to turn me too… anyways so now I like everyone else could not resist from comparing it to “Twilight” by Stephanie Mayer…n again very predictable, the show has totally ripped it off…

First it has so many twists n turns… a whole story woven around a set of fictional facts…every episode has something new to offer…and eventually we do start believing everything is real…I can’t believe I even binged if real vampires exist…well obviously I don’t know if the info is correct or not…

Ok…coming back…twilight is way too predictable…it’s even boring at times…I remember skipping certain pages in the novel to get to the more exciting part…which is not something I routinely practice….

So, I concluded it will be disrespecting “The Vampire Diaries” if I try comparing it with any other thing…n I would never do that… the show is awesome…I’ve already talked about how addicting the story is…the caste is amazing…they look as well as act good… every day I see some one or the other putting up their status about ‘the Salvatore brothers’/just Damon or Stephen/Klaus or more recently Elijah… so the point is they all are incredible….

If I continue about how popular the show is, I can go on for a while…but there is no point discussing what everyone knows…so I will stop here n would love to hear u all out on how awesome(or not) the show is…..

It’s been a while…..

It’s been a while since I have written here…partly because I was busy with my sister’s wedding preparation and partly because I lost my net connection for long…whatever excuses..!!

Yeah so now going back to what all has actually happened in this time…I have done shopping, more shopping, and some more shopping…I wonder how Jane(played by Katherine Heigl) in 27 dresses manages so many weddings…being the bridesmaid…helping the bride for her perfect day…!! N this is because m already tired in one…running from everywhere to everywhere…being ruthless to my brain…trying not to forget anything…and this all along with maintaining a happy smiling face…so yeah it’s not only brain but cheek n lip muscles also on work….! I know I should not crib…I am the responsible one these days…so I should enjoy….n honestly m trying…:)

Next coming to college…I have been posted in Anaesthesiology….m simply loving it… In the past few days, I have realized I love the whole Operation Theatre environment…the way everyone changes into a complete different person in there…swift n decisive…skilled hand movements…like some invisible force is guiding them all towards a central goal….n as soon as they are out, they are the best people to hang out with…practical, humorous n full of life…..n I have also realized being a doctor is actually a big responsibility….a profession of gravity… I just can’t fool around here….n so I have genuinely decided to be sincere n everything…..

On a more personal front, nothing is actually right…m kind of all on my own…all my friends are pretty happy with everything in their lives…their crushes/ bf(s)… exciting….! So I decided it was high time I should make mine too…went partying with one of my school friends…had kind of an experience there…but then that was it… I am back to where I was… busy n alone…

Futility [relived]…

In the last few days, I have realized how much ever you try to start afresh… it’s really difficult to keep trying with no outputs at all….

When people ask me if something’s wrong….I have mixed responses….first why are they interested…to keep up with their ‘we are so sweet, we care for everyone’ image…or just to get an answer and make a gossip about it n laugh over it like it’s the biggest joke they have ever heard…second even if they are genuine…what am I supposed to explain…why am I always ‘the chosen one’ for failures….even I have no answer to that…

So yeah…I am pretty much fed by all this…the uncertainty of how things will turn up… I really can’t take it anymore…2 years back one of my friends suggested me how ‘ THE SECRET” the book by Rhonda Byrne had changed their perception about everything…so I read it…even watched the documentary…it is obviously really good….all about optimism n universe attraction but for that you have to know what you want…I just want any good thing in my life which is real…n mine….!!

Sensitive guys…not gays..!!

Mr. Sensitive

Well I was talking to one of my friends about this guy who was really sad over something…n she responded “oh I just don’t like sentimental guys”…this response of hers seriously led me into thinking…why should a guy not talk about feelings…n this is just one girl m talking about..There are 100 others who think like that….n to be honest even I do sometimes…

So I was just analysing if it is right or wrong for a guy to show his emotions even to his friends…how does it actually decrease their “macho man” image…?? This is human nature to have feelings n also to discuss things (until of course a person is really shy n reserved)…I know you can’t be too sentimental in front of everyone…that just makes u a perpetually sad person who cribs about every possible thing…

But keeping things to yourself n not discussing them out (because OMG u r a guy how can u even say u r sad) is really stupid too…there should be certain close friends who u talk to…About things that matter…things which affect u…and though they don’t say it girls like such guys too…Who understand d meaning of feelings n emotions n care about theirs’…: P

N talking about how much of a man u are….m sure u can think of plenty other ways..;)

R.I.P. 2011

happy new year

When i look back…this year was an eye opener for me…i see myself loving as well as hating my college life…fighting over small things..and patching up….crying over stuff and then making a joke of it all…gosssiping and being gossiped about…making new friends…happy about some decisions n regretting others…becoming all sentimental n girly about little things…n then bouncing back to my old self…being heart broken n resolving to start all over again…editing my playlist several times…but at the same time partying like crazy n enjoying to the core with my besties….:))

And so here it is…2011…i will miss you n you were awesome….but i am kinda sure 2012 will be great…n hence i decided not to mourn your departure but welcome 2012..bonfire…with family…singing punjabi folk songs…dancing…dholak n pop-corn n the amazing moong-fali….a pure n innocent beginning…with a resolution to not take a resolution cz they are really to difficult to keep..:P

bonfire

anyways i wish you all a HAPPY NEW YEAR….enjoy this year like never before…let yourself go…break the set limits and aspire for new one…cheers 2012!!:)

good girls are made of sugar n spice..but girls like us of VODKA n ICE!!

talk about party..talk about us..! yeah that is the kind of people we are…n this “we” includes 5 of my friends…well this is not how we were(at least most of us;))..

obviously we had studied our asses off to get into a medical college…n so partying then was never really an option for most of us..we were the nice, innocent, obedient kids of our parents..our daily routine included studying eating n sleeping (n exercising for some)..but times changed n so did we…all of us..:D

after entering college we explored Delhi..walking from college to Connaught Place was a daily routine to us…we would finish with our college n head off to some place in the evening..every day..n then obviously it got monotonous…so came the new things…

we went to the ‘theka’ (hindi term for shops that sell alcohol)..got two Smirnoff bottles..got really drunk n went out..that was one crazy day i will never forget..i was so high(well i do get high in a small quantity:P)…i fought in McD with the guy who took my order over some money(i later got to know i was wrong not he)..went to a bar, had 2 shots of tequila..danced on the roads at 2 am…shouted songs(because i really can’t call that singing)…n went totally out of my mind…well this was the start..

smirnoff with taddy

 

now here we are..party animals…talk about vodka..whiskey..beer or tequila…we are up for anything n may be everything..;)

u would be thinking what is such a big issue about it…well it is..because first this is India(where drinking is not considered good)..second we are female medical students(it’s still a taboo for girls to drink in a medical college)..yeah..i do deserve some sympathy..:P

guys…relationships…blah blah blah!!

I have never understood how girls become all crazy in relationships…waiting for calls..texting 24X7…crying for weird reasons…n it’s like a cycle..

getting excited when your crush looks at u…exchange of smiles…getting dressed up…sitting at places where u can have a direct eye contact..always smiling….

then u go on a date…think n talk about it till u start going on regular dates…with this also start the conventional texts and forwarded messages…then occurs “the asking out” ceremony n u officially become a couple..

well first 2-3 months u r all into each other…happy n content…u spend most time with Ur partner…star losing out on friends…then the problems start….u fight on small things…start getting irritated with each other…but yet the fights solve n u r all good…

then the time passes…n the fights do not seem to solve n u r so irritated with Ur partner…which is well reciprocated by your “better half of that time”…so either u or he decides to move out of the relationship…or very rarely…have a clean break up with no hard feelings on any side….

well if the girl is “dumped”..the season of sorrow begins..the girl cries for days all together…doesnt eat/over-eats…n officially enters the stage of “PBD” or Post Break up Depression….when friends are supposed to dote on u…try to cheer u up..n always be with u…!!

but as they say “this too shall pass”..so it does n the girl becomes a happy single again…ready for a new crush n a new bf…:P

well u might call me ruthless but this is how I am…well atleast now again…yeah..again because despite knowing all of this..n even mocking the “senti” girls always..i myself got involved into something which was not even a relationship…but then here i am…back…having fun my way!! just go on fun dates n enjoy..!! no time to cry your eyes out….;)